"I Vape for a Reason", or "Did that Bear Fellate Hitler?"

Hello my best, beautiful, brave, breastie, bestie buddies! My lovely fans that follow and dote on my every word, thought and action! How the fuck are ya'll? Its colder than Santas dick right now, and I found myself thinking on the concept of procrastination.

Procrastination is an awful concept in theory, but lets not forget; In theory, COMMUNISM WORKS. So I think its important that we look at procrastination in a fair and balanced way Don't you? Were not filthy commies are we? (Bless Glorious Leader).

Procrastination has gotten a bad rap over the years, and I suppose its no wonder. When you see what dedicated men, women, and others have accomplished with their hard work it can make the concept look kinda shitty. Imagine if you'd never picked up that video game, drank that first beer  or masturbated. Literally THOUSANDS of hours wasted!

But I must ask you this... What if Hitler was a pot head? Do you think he would have killed nearly as many Jews and untermensch? Not likely! I actually address this concept in a film mock-up Ive been working on, for 15 years. It involves a time travelling piece of key-lime pie, and a grizzly bear that formally belonged to Adolf Hitler. They have zany misadventures through time, all while really getting to know the people that matter most: Themselves.

But I digress....

What if Jesus was really proactive? There are some scholars that believe that Jesus may have actually been more of a leader of a rebellion with very little magic powers, than any sort of Savior. More of a person to fit prophesies that the Jewish mystics at the time so loved to make (Aslan, R (2013)  Zealot: The Life and Times of Jesus of Nazareth). What would have happened in that case? Would we be seeing a world-wide Jewish state? Fondly remembering Jesus for the blood-thirsty warlord he was?
I actually address this concept in a book Ive been working on for the last 15 years. It involves a time travelling Nazi and a grizzly bear, that formerly belonged to Jesus of Nazareth.

But again, I digress.

I suppose what I'm really getting at, is that sometimes its ok to smoke a joint and play video games for 12 hours. Or get a little drunk for a month or so. But its important to have limits! I actually address this in a comic Ive been working on. Its about a time Travelling Jesus chasing a time travelling Hitler through time. And also there's a piece of talking key-lime pie.

I have to go now. My planet needs me.

Donkeyzrahite

The Empress and Her New Clothes Are F-king Retarded", or "I Hate Myself and Everyone Else. Build a Wall!"

G'day faithful readers. Just knowing you're out there, reading my words, lapping up my delicious thoughts like the adorable pup-pups you are, gives me strength. Remember: I love you, and J loves you.

I feel like I need to address some things. It would seem my last post raised some serious questions from some of my fans, old and new alike! And if there's one thing that truly brings me joy, it is educating my brothers and sisters and whatever the fuck you people identify as. (Remember, just send me a list of your preferred pronouns, and I will be sure to start addressing my beautiful little snowflakes as they require!!!)

So lets get to it!

Dr.  Jeffrey Kang from Detroit writes... "Yo! Welcome back to the blog-o-sphere my man! We missed you! I gotsa axe though, why did you sign your new past as Ezrahite AKA Donkeycum? Dat shit be craycray!"

Thank you for the question Dr. Kang, and its a good one, to be sure. You see during the decade long absence from the Internet, I went through some changes. I grew a little, I died a little, and yes, I was reborn a little! Long story short, the moniker was gifted to me by a shaman in Korea (All praise glorious leader). Its quite the tale, and I may share it with you all someday, should you like! But for now, don't be too concerned and just enjoy the new reality that is... Ezrahite AKA Donkeycum.

Next email is from dogscatman_6969: "It is wonderful to see you again dear friend Ezrahite. I am ashamed to write trly did not realize how much I missed you until roughly the 4th year without an update. I hope you can forgive me, and may I ask, why wasnt the J-man posting on the blog in your absense? Is it true hes going to be doing a podcast with you soon? PRAISE BE IN HIS NAME!"

I need to get serious for a second here dogscatman_6969. What I did, leaving you all for that long? That was unforgivable.
I know it. You know it. The Universal Overmind knows it. But I gotta say, and I feel you already know this, you should feel absolutely awful that it took you 4 years to notice I stopped updating.
Get your shit together dogscatman_6969.

Finally my last letter is from Cremefresh. Creme asks, "y do this?"

I assume Mr. Fresh is asking about why I am back. Why now? Perhaps hes interested in why I want to start a podcast? For reference Cremefresh, please try to be a little more articulate with your next question! But I am a man of the people, and I shall do my best to answer it! For starters, I do this, because I HAVE do it. Since Arigold Huffman died in that cursed year of our lord 2016, there has not been a real voice of Truth on the Internet. Its a fact, you can look it up. The voice of the people MUST be heard! Too many blowhards and tyrants trying to lead the people, when all they truly care about is sacrificing children to the dark god Moloch and grabbin women in right in the pussy. The people need better Mr. Fresh! The people DESERVE better!

I thank you for your time, and I'm glad that I was able to answer some of your inquiries. Please feel free to comment or email me with your questions. This is a movement by the people, for the people and also with Jesus. Hes around here too.

Take care my lovelies!

Donkeycum AKA Ezrahite

"The Man Comes Around", or "This Ain't Yo Mommas Safe Space!"

Hello faithful readers! It has been almost a decade, but it feels like yesterday! I sincerely hope you all are doing well, and don't worry, Joel will return soon!

I am amazed and grateful hat blogger.com kept my blog up in my absence, but now the time has come, dear reader, to launch my sizable intellect and will into new domains. New ventures. New dimensions. New psychospheres! That's right dear friends, Ezrahite is starting a podcast!

Now I know what you're thinking, "But Ezrahite, isn't that pissing into an ocean of piss?" And faithful reader, you'd be correct if you weren't so damn wrong! You see, the pungent aroma of my piss is more than enough to stand out in this awful cesspool or opinions, and contrivances. I promise.

That's not even the best news though, believe it nor not! The REAL news, is who is co-hosting my podcast with me! Non other than our Man with the Plan... The Magic Jesus!

ETA is still out, but get excited my dear brothers and sisters and xe's and they's!!! The mans come around!

In Love and Light,

Ezrahite AKA Donkeycum